Tag Archives: bereavement



Left to right: Me, My brother Paul, Mum, Uncle John, Grampa, Granny, Cousin Josh.,

Its been quite a while since my post about Cancer and such a shame that my next post about the same subjectcomes at the end of my mothers fight.

I keep thinking it was best result because she was suffering, maybe the end result was inevitable. And if she had survived then it would be more and more suffering. Not an easy way to think about it because of the conflict that even you may have experienced.

Its so easy to blame people for what happened to my Mum.

I could blame the GP whom she went to many months before being diagnosed, complaining of a pain in her lower back, who instead of investigating the issue further just prescribed anti inflammatory drugs to stop the pain. Anti inflammatory drugs are being investigated due to suspicion that they can help the tumor grow.

I could blame the hospital she was admitted to when the GP said she had a small cold and thought it was best if she was under observation. In that hospital she caught pneumonia which for a stage 4 Cancer patient was not the best side order.

I could go on about blame in the post as much as its gone through my head, but I doubt I’d ever finish it.

Patricia Cummings previously held the surname Tovey, she was born and raised in the front room of a terraced house in Seaside, Llanelli.

She was my mother, someone who supported me and my brother Paul throughout our lives with honest, genteel advice about anything and everything I wanted to do.

Throughout her fight with stage 4 kidney cancer she had looked up to her mother who had fought cancer three times in her life and survived the very lowest boundaries of suffering, she said once “don’t worry, I have my mother’s genes”.

My mum was the type of person who would wrap everyone in a big blanket and make them feel warm and welcome. She had an ability to talk to anyone about anything, and would make anyone feel comfortable and happy to open up their thoughts and feelings.

One thing I remember about mum is the way she would love to party, she was always so much fun to be around, if it was sunny she would think of any excuse to have a BBQ, and make sure she would invite all sides of our family. And then as a family we would stay up lateinto the night and talk about anything and everything, eventually when she got a little too drunk she would say such an expressive exclamation “you know! I gave birth to you!” while swinging her arms about.

Early Tuesday 21st December my Mum passed peacefully, no more suffering, no more fighting. She was silent and calm.

She left two boys Paul and myself, a loving brother John, two parents Mina and Alfred and a committed and deeply besotted partner Andrew who was held her hand through the whole the 12 month fight.

Looking for someone to blame will neverbring ourloved onesback.

I would rather remember my mums love and strength.

Mum, just as you would say… All my love, always. Xxx